


one of those games you're gonna lose (but you wanna play it just in case)

by everyfragment



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, M/M, What if Remus didn't go to Hogwarts AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:27:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29688801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everyfragment/pseuds/everyfragment
Summary: Sirius isn’t really expecting to end up half in love and entirely in lust in a patisserie in the 14th arrondissement, but he’s stopped expecting anything to be what he thought it would be about five days ago when he was first assigned his first international assignment.Remus doesn't go to Hogwarts and Sirius meets him in a Parisian patisserie AU.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	one of those games you're gonna lose (but you wanna play it just in case)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [peaktotheocean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/peaktotheocean/gifts).



Sirius isn’t really expecting to end up half in love and entirely in lust in a patisserie in the 14th arrondissement, but he’s stopped expecting anything to be what he thought it would be about five days ago when he was assigned his first international assignment. 

By the time he gets to the patisserie, Sirius is drenched to the bone and has been trying to find his contact for the last half an hour. It’s less damp inside the shop, at least, even if the girl behind the counter looks at him with contempt as he drips on her clean floor. 

“Excuse me,” he says in French, wishing Regulus were here to help him get beyond basic greetings. The girl behind the counter raises an eyebrow. “One cafe au lait, please” he finally says.

There’s a loud snort from the only table in the shop, and before Sirius knows what’s happening, he’s bundled into a chair with a sickly sweet chocolate cake and a warm cup of coffee in front of him, and a towel draped around his shoulders. 

Sirius takes a sip of the coffee and waits.

“You look like a drowned rat,” the man across from him finally says.

“I’ve been looking for you for a half an hour,” Sirius returns. He’s pretty sure he’s right. Surely there aren’t that many Englishmen casting surreptitious warming charms on strangers in this part of Paris. 

The man shrugs with a single shoulder. 

“I haven’t decided if I want to do Alastor a favour, yet.”

Sirius knows this. Moody had told him he was meant to get information from their contact and persuade him to join their side. 

“I don’t know you,” Sirius says without really thinking.

“No, and I don’t know you,” the man says, an eyebrow raised like he’s beginning to wonder if this interaction is even worth his time.

“I just mean you’re about my age, aren’t you? And I never saw you at Hogwarts. I would have remembered you.” 

“Ah,” and the man smirks, which Merlin. Did Moody really think Sirius was the right person for this job? Because he’s not. He’s patently not. “No, you wouldn’t have.”

“Were you ...invisible?” 

Sirius has a moment to think about just how badly suited he is for the job.

“No,” and Sirius can’t really blame their contact for the incredulity in his voice. “I was not an _invisible student_. I just didn’t attend Hogwarts.”

“Oh. What’s Beauxbatons like, then?”

“Fine, I think? Has fewer turrets than Hogwarts, I believe. My friends tell me the food is good?”

“Oh--sorry. I just--assumed”

“I went to Cowbridge Grammar School.”

“Oh. Uh.” And Sirius doesn’t _think_ that’s one of the American schools, but he’s not sure and he’s not really willing to say anything else at this point.

“It’s in Cowbridge.”

“Oh.”

“That’s in Wales.” 

Sirius thinks he’s being made fun of, but he really doesn’t know where or what Cowbridge is, so he opts for saying something safe. 

“Oh.”

“That’s a part of the United Kingdom.” 

And now Sirius knows he’s being made fun of. He clears his throat.

“Listen, could we go somewhere a little more private?”

The smirk comes back at that, and Sirius has to bite his lip to stop himself from _actually_ propositioning the man right there and then. 

“This is just fine for me, thank you,” he says. “Besides, you haven’t finished your cake.”

“OK, but--”

“Elodie doesn’t care,” he adds, and then--because he _has_ to be doing this on purpose--he takes a bite of Sirius’ cake. 

Sirius looks up to see Elodie also smirking at him, and decides he just has to soldier on at this point. 

“OK. OK. Fuck. Listen. Can we start again? I’m Sirius. Sirius Black. I know I seem like a complete fool right now, but I promise I’m usually at least a bit better.”

“Hm.” And Sirius thinks he can give himself a single point because the smirk’s turned into a small smile. “Remus. Alastor did mention you were a bit of an idiot.”

“Oh. Well. He said you were a genius.”

Remus laughs at this and takes another bite of Sirius’ cake. 

“I’m not. I just know the answer to the question he’s been asking.” Remus reaches into the coat behind him--threadbare, the disapproving voice of his mother says in Sirius’ head before he can tell it to shut up--and pulls out a few pieces of paper and a biro. 

“Here,” Remus says while he scribbles something on the front. “That should be enough to get him started. Tell him to just follow the instructions at the top next time he wants to reach me. The security spell there should make tracing any contact virtually impossible.”

Sirius takes the paper and tucks it into the front of his shirt. He swallows, and when Remus’ eyes drop to his throat, he decides to throw caution to the wind.

“Listen. Do you want to go somewhere a bit more private? I mean--”

Remus laughs again, but his eyes are darker than they were a minute ago so Sirius thinks maybe--just maybe--he’s not entirely fucked this up. 

“Yeah, okay then. My flat’s around the corner.”

**

**Author's Note:**

> @peaktotheocean: hey what do you think would have happened to remus if he hadn't gone to hogwarts at all?  
> me: fuCK HOLD ON. I NEED MY KEYBOARD FOR THIS.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [foiled harvest](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29698533) by [peaktotheocean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/peaktotheocean/pseuds/peaktotheocean)




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